Saturday was my Dad’s birthday. He would have been 88 years old. And the anniversary of his death is tomorrow. My mom’s birthday and anniversary of her death are also this month. So much energy and emotion swirling around at this time of the year. I know it’s coming well before February arrives because there were so many struggles beforehand that are deeply embedded in my heart.
This time of year prompts so many feelings for me. Guilt; did I try hard enough to accept my parents as they were? Gratitude; they did the best they could with what they had to offer. Joy and Laughter; I always think of the funny things they did and said. I recall watching my Mom laugh so hard that she had to bend over and cross her legs so she didn’t…well, you know!
Loss is such a profound experience. You scramble to figure out how to deal with the heaviness of grief. Do you ever move beyond it? How can you cope?
What the departed tell me is they want you to forgive yourself for any shortcomings. Release the guilt you carry with you. They tell me they are healthy, happy, and free from any physical pain that they suffered when they were alive. They also want you to know they are still with you, just in another form, as spirit energy. As your biggest supporters they try their best to help you find joy and happiness.
I’ve noticed since my mother’s death, when I think of her or I’m talking to her, a light will flicker in that room. It first began when I moved with my husband to a new city several years ago. At the moment it flickered my Mom would pop in my head. It took several times before I would recognize the sign. My mom’s energy/spirit was supporting me as we adjusted to our new lifestyle. The best synchronicity, or exchange of energy, I’ve ever had with my Mom was a few months ago when I was baking her favorite coffee cake. While preparing the recipe I heard in my mind, “you should sell this”. The thought made me giggle and right then the lights began to flicker. I said “is that you mom?” and the flickering lights were like a strobe light! I laughed harder and the lights flickered even faster! It was a remarkable synchronicity or energy exchange with my mother. Life stood still in that moment. I’ll never forget the way it made me feel, so loved and so connected to my mom’s spirit.
My hope for you is that you can begin to find peace in knowing your loved one is safe and supporting you in your life. And that you give yourself permission to notice their wink or flicker!
Part 1 of 3
All my best,
Jenny Sierzputowski