Death is such a painful topic and dying alone is a fear for many of us. My dad died alone in a hospital in February of 2018. The thought of him all alone still makes me very sad but I know it wasn’t my fault nor the fault of anyone else. Yet tremendous guilt bubbled up for weeks after his passing.
Several years before my Dad’s death I began to look inward for answers to my own burning questions. I turned to meditation as my tool to seek peace and understanding. I was able to receive guidance on what I needed to release to be able to gain clarity.
But why was I grieving so hard after my Dad’s death? He and I struggled to find a way to deepen our relationship over the years and we weren’t speaking much at the end of his life. One day when I was so overwhelmed with deep grief I went into meditation to figure things out. Instantly I understood the overwhelming grief I felt was about losing the relationship I never had with my Dad. That understanding shocked me because I never would have thought that on my own!
My dad came to me at that moment and said, “Wow, I’m surprised about what you are doing now.” He was referring to my work as a medium and energy healer. He actually referred to me as a Mystic, a term I never used for myself. I got very angry with him and said, “Dad, I tried to talk to you over the last several years. You never asked about me or tried to get to know me! If you had tried you would have known all about it!” His response was very apologetic, “I would have been frustrated at me too and I’m sorry for that.” In that moment I understood that some relationships may only be repaired in the afterlife. Our relationship has new meaning and he is one of my biggest supporters. I know now that I can ask him for anything.
As a soul we are here to learn lessons yet some of those lessons occur in the time after we die. The experience helped me to heal from my grief. Meditation is a sacred, safe space for each of us to feel peace, support, and gain clarity about things that happen in our lives. It’s a meaningful tool to have in your self care toolbox.
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All my best,
Jenny Sierzputowski